I recently published an article with Scary Mommy (read here) on my changing beliefs on the legality of abortion in America. It was heavily edited, which I approved, knowing the audience is different than the one reading here. I am … Continue reading
Dearest Cora, It’s been five years today since we held your body; your soul already residing in Heaven. It feels like a whole lifetime has passed since you’ve been gone. Your dad and I are completely different people after you. … Continue reading
This blog post was written specifically with family and friends of those grieving the loss of a baby in mind, just in time for the approaching holidays. I know you feel helpless to ease the pain and sometimes have no … Continue reading
“Grief is the last act of love we can give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.” Since Layla, we’ve visited and laughed with friends for hours. I found myself in the grocery store … Continue reading
Since our last blog post, we had a meeting with Carolina Donor Services about what Layla qualified to donate. We found out she qualified to donate her heart, kidneys, pancreas and lungs. All of these organs would have gone to … Continue reading
We had a physical shower with Cora because she was my first and I wanted some normality of that pregnancy. Twenty five or so women came and celebrated her. Each person brought prayer cards and a piece of fleece. My … Continue reading
I am currently 29 weeks pregnant. The day I delivered Cora, she was 29 weeks 5 days old. This thought is with me every day at work; it’s with me every time I go a few hours without feeling her … Continue reading
We officially have our third girl in the Shrader house! We had our anatomy scan yesterday and nothing has changed with the prognosis; the baby still has a fatal condition. Nothing has changed with the way we will approach her … Continue reading
I truly can’t believe I’m about to write this again. We have devastating news regarding our current pregnancy. Last Wednesday, I had an official ultrasound and the doctor was able to confirm my fears. Our baby is going to die. … Continue reading
If you have read our past blog posts, you are pretty caught up on our adoption story. We started the process in September of 2013, two months after losing Cora. In January of 2017, we (finally) obtained legal custody of Abenezer and he officially become a U. S. Citizen the day we arrived with him in America. Meet Abenezer Shrader:
For those of you that follow me on Facebook, I was very open about the process happening in Ethiopia. We arrived the day before court (Monday), immediately went to the orphanage to meet Abenezer (as required) and passed court the next day (Tuesday, January 10th). We had our “gotcha day”-the day we took custody of him that Wednesday the 11th. His orphanage, Noble Action, graciously fed us lunch and gave him the sweetest goodbye ceremony. I cried the entire day, in fact I think Abenezer was confused as to why I was crying and not smiling. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Abenezer was about to leave the only family he had ever known to be in a totally different country and culture. I also was so incredibly happy we got to be a part of his story in that way. We don’t know much about his past, as we do not have any contact or information about his family.
He was obviously very well cared for and loved by the nannies there. We have a big picture of all of his friends in our living room to help him remember them always. I think the fact that his best friend, Mahilet, went through her own goodbye ceremony right before we came to get him made him more anxious and excited for our arrival. He was adament he was excited to go to “his country” (America). Here are some pictures of the precious orphanage and ceremony:
We stayed in the Sidra International Hotel in Addis Ababa and we were so blessed by our stay. We had power, internet, good food and great friends staying with us. Our agency typically has several families traveling together so we were blessed to be traveling with 4 families. The hotel staff loved Abenezer and talked to him in Amharic whenever they got the chance.
We stayed at the hotel for the entirety of the process. After we took custody of Abenezer, we had to get an approval stamp from MOWA (their DSS) to continue to get his Ethiopian passport, we had to have the passport to start his medicals/TB test (48 hours), we had to have the medical slip from the doctor to start his exit visa process with the US embassy and make flights. We hit a few holidays that delayed us a few days and Abenezer had a positive TB test (but negative chest x-ray) that also delayed us, but we were still out of country in 2 1/2 weeks. We are very blessed to have made one trip and come back with him. Even though it was very stressful, we have no regrets. We are planning to return to Ethiopia to visit in a few years, so we can actually enjoy the country and sight see. Here are a few pictures of the hotel and our adventures:
We are adjusting to him, and he to us. He loves Lydia; he hugs her so hard she falls down every day. He loves to sing (anything English or Amharic), loves to read, needs to be on the go 24/7, eats like a grown man, loves our local museum, is scared of heights, still scared of big dogs, watches Clifford and Sesame Street daily, says “I love you”, amongst other things. He can write his entire alphabet, knows 1-20, days of the week all in English and knows his shapes as well as plays (and wins) UNO. He’s a very smart boy and VERY boy-like (which we are also getting used to). He will be going to daycare soon after my leave is over and he may start Kindergarten this fall. We are enjoying every bit of him and cannot believe he is finally here after 3 1/2 years of the process! Let the adventures truly begin!!