I know what you may be thinking…no, I’m not pregnant. BUT, Lydia is going to become a little sister to a 3 year old BIG BROTHER! We have received and accepted our referral just this week! This happened A LOT sooner than we were expecting, judging by the number that we were given on the list of waiting families. We were warned sometimes this happens due to our qualifications (how old the child is, how many we are approved for, special needs) and we could bypass some families waiting on the list for infants.
Honestly, when I got the phone call at work that we could have a child if we accepted him, I was pretty overwhelmed. I didn’t know the timeline for travel and thought we may have to leave immediately. Were we ready? This little boy is 3. We have never raised a 3 year old, nor a boy, and this was a whole new world. We’ve obviously considered this likelihood, but theory and practice often require a different approach. We accepted this referral on Monday after much prayer, deliberation, and talking to many people in our lives with good advice. And honestly, this was probably one of the most stressful weeks of our lives. We had made up our minds that this phone call would come in mid Spring 2016. It was unsettling to jump the timeline up by 9 months, but that’s kinda how these things work.
We are excited, for sure, but we are also overwhelmed, nervous, and scared now that this adoption has taken the next big step toward reality. Its been a far off notion for so long. We’d set the ball rolling and have plenty of time to prepare. Well, we are rolling now. We are about to become parents for the 3rd time to a 3 year old little boy from another country who may have all sorts of special needs that adopted kids typically have. Are we ready?
Adoption is totally a Gospel concept. We, as sinners, can be overwhelmed by the notion of giving this little boy a home but nothing we’ll encounter will surprise God. He has woven this little boy’s story to include us as his family and that brings us immense joy. There will be hardships in the coming years, so please keep us in your prayers.
We have committed to doing this adoption with as little debt as possible, and so far God has blessed us to be able to do that. We still have about $25,000+ left to finalize the adoption of this little boy, including round trip plane tickets to Ethiopia for 2 separate trips, lodging for two weeks, transportation, food and paperwork fees. We have saved enough money to cover most of this next wave of expenses, though there are expenses and eventualities after the adoption that we haven’t paid for.There may be medical costs for any special needs he may have, clothing/toys/carseat expenses, counseling care for him as he’s grows and asks tough questions. On top of those, the loss of income associated with helping get him adjusted to life in the States by staying at home with him. When we told family and friends this week, the first and most frequent question we got was: “what can we do to help?”
First is prayer. Pray that we exemplify the gospel throughout the rest of this process. That we would live out all those things that Christ and His word have taught us. Pray for the health and well being of this little guy who’s world is about to change. Pray for the process and people involved that everyone would act in the best interest of the child at all times. We don’t ‘want’ to adopt, because it means that kids are out there growing up without birth moms and dads. Way better to have no orphans so no need for any of this, but the reality of a sinful world is that we need to care for those who can’t care for themselves.
Besides covering us in prayers, we would love it if we could get people to donate to our Lifesong account. To donate, click the link in the prior sentence to donate via PayPal (3% of your donation gets taken out) or send a check to Lifesong at Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744. 100% of the check goes to our adoption account and checks should be payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo, put Shrader adoption account #4591. We currently have over $700 and if we receive $1,300 more in donations into this account, our church will match our account with a $2000 adoption grant. This would help us tremendously with expenses incurred in country and after the adoption. If you can’t donate money but would like to help with physical needs, we would also love any hand me down clothing, toys, etc (whatever you need for a 3 yr old boy). He will have his own bedroom (currently our guest bedroom) and we currently have a bed, but not much else.
This referral has taken us by surprise and neither of us dealt well with that. I know eventually we will come around to that gung-ho attitude about it, but we’re still adjusting to the shock. Yet our God is a good God and He will provide us with everything (and more!) that we ask. Right now, we’re in the planning stages and there is A LOT to plan in the coming months. As far as our timeline goes, we will be taking two 1 week trips to Ethiopia when we get our court date. We will most likely be traveling in about 6 months (March) for the first trip to meet him and to go through their courts to get legal guardianship. Then we will come back to the States for a couple of months and take our 2nd trip (May) for a week to go get his exit visa and leave the country with OUR boy! Most likely, we won’t be taking Lydia with us which is a devastating thought to me. I know she will be either with our family or friends and will be taken care of, but we have never spent a night away from her so a week will be horrendous without her. However, the idea of juggling 2 toddlers on a 14 hour international flight gives Josh a bit of a wild eyed look, so a week with the Grandparents or cousins might be better for all parties. Please pray for our hearts as we make that decision.
I cannot at this time show you a picture of him or tell you his name, but I can assure you he is ADORABLE. Everything can change in an instant, Ethiopia could shut down and out of respect for his privacy these are the only details we can tell you. He’s a boy, he’s a little over 3 and he has been in an orphanage for 2 years of his life.
These are some prayer requests/physical needs we have going on at the moment:
- Pray for this little boy who is without a family in an orphanage. I don’t know when they will tell him about us, but he has already gone through immense trials not having a family. Going to get him will be so scary for him, because we are all strangers. We’re taking him to a foreign land with foreign people, food, customs and even language.
- Pray for our hearts that we focus on the Gospel and parallel our being adopted in Christ’s family to this experience. It may be the hardest trial we’ve ever had to go through.
- Pray for Lydia that her little mind will eventually understand this is a great thing for her as well. She loves kids, especially older kids, so I have no doubt she will love her big brother immediately.
- We would love to get $2,000 in our Lifesong account so that we can have it matched for expenses after the adoption.
- We could use material things for a little boy: clothing (3-4T), shoes (not sure size yet), toys, books, carseat, etc. We would definitely accept hand-me-downs (except for the car seat). If you personally don’t have any, please share our need with friends/family because they may have hand-me-downs. We would also take brand new clothing and shoes as well if you feel so inclined.
Finally, we just want to extend a thank you to all our family and friends who have supported us through this process. You guys have enabled us to be bold about our faith and about the importance of adoption and orphan care. Thanks especially to our church family for having a heart for adoption, answering our many questions and leading by example. I know we wouldn’t have made it to this point without all of your help and support.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
We love you guys.
Josh, Bec, Lydia, and #4 (coming soon to a venue near you)